


Come Back When You Can

by alicialeila



Category: Southern Vampire Mysteries - Charlaine Harris
Genre: AU, All Human, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Angst, F/M, Happy Ending, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-28
Updated: 2014-11-28
Packaged: 2018-02-27 06:59:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2683607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alicialeila/pseuds/alicialeila
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the tragic death of a loved one, Eric leaves Bon Temps, thinking there’s nothing left for him there. Sookie can no longer hide just how much she misses him, and her biggest regret is that she didn’t ask him to stay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Come Back When You Can

The question had been nagging her for days.

Where was Eric?

It wasn’t one that she allowed herself to voice, though. After she had messed things up between them so spectacularly, she didn’t feel that she deserved to be his friend. She definitely shouldn’t be asking after him.

Things had been especially strained between them since his old sort of ex-girlfriend had reappeared at his side, after she’d been living abroad for years. Sookie had tried to suppress the jealousy that she had no right to feel. After all, their relationship had ended long before Nora was back in the picture.

In her attempt to move on, Sookie had begun a relationship with Alcide Herveaux. He was nice, handsome, and had been interested in her for years. Sookie realized how pathetic it was that her decision to give him a chance was for those reasons, but she saw no point to pining over Eric. She knew that Pam, Eric’s sister and best friend, thought that she was cold, and that she had given up on Eric, but the truth was that Sookie was being realistic. After she had hurt Eric so badly, she couldn’t expect him to ever want to try again. Sometimes broken things can’t be fixed, she reasoned, no matter how badly we might want them to be. If there was one thing that Sookie had come to expect in her near thirty years, it was losing people.

Sitting with Alcide and Tara, her best friend, in Eric and Pam’s bar, Fantasia, Sookie decided she needed to know that he was okay, once and for all. Her group of friends still frequented the bar, even if Sookie didn’t always tag along—sometimes it was too awkward. But she was making an effort, so she could ask casually, right? She spotted Pam behind the bar, and took a deep breath.

“I’ll be right back,” Sookie told her friends, and got up from the table before they had a chance to ask where she was going.

She approached Pam calmly, even though her heart was beating out of her chest.

“Hey Pam,” she smiled slightly.

“Sookie,” Pam replied coldly, not even bothering to look up at her as she mixed drinks.

“How are you?” Sookie hedged, trying to make conversation before asking about Eric.

“Great,” Pam enthused sarcastically. Sookie wasn’t surprised; Pam was incredibly loyal to Eric, and Sookie had hurt him. Truthfully, Pam had never been fond of Sookie, even when she was with Eric. That probably had to do with her friendship with Bill Compton, another person that Pam seemed to loathe.

“That’s good,” Sookie nodded awkwardly, trying to be civil. Pam just rolled her eyes. “So where’s Eric? I haven’t seen him around in a while,” Sookie said as evenly as should could.

Pam finally looked up at Sookie, anger in her eyes.

“Seriously?” She demanded.

“Pam, I…”

“Save it, Sookie. He’s in Sweden, on a fucking vacation,” Pam spat, and walked away as quickly as her high heels let her.

Sookie paused for a second, trying to understand what Pam meant. Her and Eric’s family was from Sweden, so he could very well be there. But the way Pam had said it, he obviously wasn’t there on vacation.

Sookie walked back to the table, hoping that it didn’t show on her face how close she was to tears.

“Everything okay, Sook?” Alcide asked.

“Yep,” she replied, giving a stiff smile. Alcide seemed satisfied, and went back to talking with Lafayette. She knew Tara wouldn’t be so easily convinced.

“Come to the bathroom with me?” Tara asked, and Sookie knew she was right. Tara pulled her into the bathroom without needing a reply.

“What’s going on?” She asked curiously.

“Nothin’,” Sookie lied, but her friend just raised an eyebrow. “I just… Pam just told me that Eric is in Sweden.”

“Yeah,” Tara said slowly, “you didn’t know?”

“You did?” Sookie asked, more pointedly than she had meant to.

“Pam told me last week,” Tara frowned. “I… Do you know what happened?”

“What do you mean, what happened?”

“Nora died, Sookie,” Tara said as gently as she could.

“What?” Sookie asked, feeling breathless.

“Yeah, she’d been sick, and had come back to say her goodbyes, I guess.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Honestly?” Tara looked troubled. “I thought that… maybe you didn’t really want to know, Sookie. I mean you never, ever talk about him, or your relationship. Now you’re with Alcide and… it just seems like you’re kind of over it.”

Sookie was quiet, and she felt the tears well up in her eyes. Had she really tried to repress the pain so hard that people thought she didn’t care about Eric? That she still didn’t love him with all her heart? That she still didn’t replay their last conversation over and over again in her mind? That she still didn’t look at pictures of them when they were happy and it seemed like the world couldn’t touch them? She tried not to think about the fact that Eric could think those things. Was that why he didn’t tell her about Nora’s death, because he thought that she didn’t care about him? Did he really believe she would leave him alone when he was grieving and hurting over losing someone he loved? And she thought she couldn’t hurt him anymore than she already had…

“Sook?” Tara looked worried. Sookie looked at her helplessly as the tears fell down her face. “Oh, girl, you still love him, don’t you?”

Sookie nodded, and Tara just hugged her.

“I thought Bill would have told you,” Tara said quietly.

“What? Why?”

“He was there.” Bill was a doctor, and Sookie tried not to think about how uncomfortable it would have been for Eric to have Bill there, at such a painful and vulnerable moment.

“Why wouldn’t he tell me?” Sookie felt anger begin to bubble up. Bill Compton had been her neighbor for the past five years, and for two of those they had been a couple. They were still friends now. Her feelings for Bill had always been a source of tension in her relationship with Eric, and Sookie sometimes wondered if Bill used it to his advantage.

“Because he’s an asshole,” Tara shrugged.

“Maybe he didn’t think it was his place to tell me,” Sookie rationalized.

“Maybe he didn’t want you going to see Eric and comforting him, and getting back together with him,” Tara rolled her eyes.

“Maybe,” Sookie sighed. “How… do you know how long he’s gone for?”

“I dunno,” Tara shrugged, “it sounded like indefinitely.”

It felt like her heart stopped.

Indefinitely.

Eric was gone.

 

* * *

 

Sookie was on autopilot for the rest of the night. She felt bad about brushing off Alcide, but she didn’t really feel like being around him when she was thinking of Eric so much. Thankfully, Alcide was pretty oblivious.

She was sitting in her living room with a glass of sweet tea and a book, but she was failing miserably at actually reading. She looked out the window and wondered if Bill was home. They had some things to settle.

She pulled on a sweater and trekked through the cemetery, right to the old Compton house. Knocking on the front door, the fact that it was almost one o’clock in the morning and Bill likely had to be up early had completed escaped her.

He opened the front door and was surprised to see her. “Sookie?” he asked, squinting.

“Hey, Bill. I need to talk to you about somethin’.”

“Sookie, it’s the middle of the night,” he frowned.

“I know Bill, but it’s important.”

“Fine,” he sighed, moving so she could pass through the door. He followed her into the living room, and sat beside her on the couch. She frowned, and moved to put a little bit of space between them.

“Look, Bill, I just found out about Nora’s passin’. I want to know why you didn’t tell me what happened,” she said, surprised at how calm she sounded.

Bill took a moment, obviously surprised by her question.

“I don’t know, Sookie, I didn’t think it should be me,” he finally said, but Sookie shook her head.

“Really, Bill? You’re supposed to be my friend.”

“It wasn’t my business,” he said defensively.

“Right,” Sookie laughed. “But it was your business to muddle in my relationship with Eric when I was with him, right?”

“Please, Sookie,” Bill scoffed, “don’t blame me for the end of your relationship. It wasn’t my fault you couldn’t make up your mind.” Bill sounded smug, and she wanted to punch his stupid face. After years of giving him the benefit of the doubt, Sookie started to wonder if she had made some serious errors in judgment.

“Fuck you Bill Compton,” Sookie said fiercely. “I loved Eric, and I only doubted that because you manipulated me!”

Sookie rose from the couch and started to walk away.

“You keep telling yourself that, Sookie,” he shook his head. “You know I love you.”

“Listen to me. If you really loved me, you would have let me be happy with Eric instead of stickin’ your nose where it didn’t belong, and tellin’ me lies.”

“I never…”

“Yes, you did. It’s a game for you, and I’m the prize. Well sorry, Bill, game over. Please stay away from me.”

She could hear Bill call after he as she left his house, but she didn’t care.

She let her sadness and shame wash over her as she walked back to her own home. Why hadn’t she seen Bill’s motivations for what they were? How had she stayed so blind to his faults? Tara had tried to warn her at the very beginning of their relationship, but Sookie hadn’t listened. Bill’s lies were not her fault, but she still wished she had been able to see them for what they were.

Sookie tossed and turned in her bed, unable to shut off her mind for even a few hours of sleep. Finally, she decided that she would only feel better if she reached out to Eric somehow. She decided an e-mail would be the best way; he could choose whether to read it, and he could choose whether to reply to it.

She hoped he would do both.

Grabbing the old laptop she’d saved for years ago, and with shaking hands, she began to type.

_Hi Eric,_

_I hope it’s okay that I am e-mailing you. I just found out about Nora, and that you left. I’m sorry it took me so long to say this, but I am so, so sorry. I know you loved her very much, and I can only imagine what you have had to go through. I wish I could give you the support that I got when I lost Gran._

_Pam told me that you went to Sweden. I hope being there gives you some kind of peace, and brings you happiness. I guess I understand the need to get away from things, even if I was never brave enough to do it._

_I know that I have a lot to apologize for, and I don’t even really know where to start. If you don’t want to read the next part of this e-mail, I understand, and hope you believe me when I say I am sorry for your loss, for the pain you’re feeling, and that I miss you._

_I’m sorry that I’ve kept such a distance since we broke up. I finally understand that I haven’t really been giving you space, I just kind of disappeared altogether. I shouldn’t have acted like nothing ever happened. I didn’t really give you a chance to decide whether you wanted to see me, or be friends. You must think I’m an awful person, that I just forgot about you and about us, but I want you to know that’s not true at all._

_I’ve kept everything inside because of my fears, and because of my doubts. And I guess that’s what I need to apologize for the most. I let my fear of being hurt, and my doubts, break us up, and it took me a long time to realize that. Why was it so easy for me to forgive Bill, after everything he’d done, but so hard for me to follow my faith and trust in you? I guess that’s a question for therapy, huh?_

_I guess it was always easier to see our relationship as having an end point, rather than to fight all of the fear, and fight to keep us. I’m sorry that I was never able to tell you that, and that I just ended things before they even really began. Our time together was probably the happiest I can remember being for a long while, and I wish I would have fought to keep it instead of giving up._

_I really do hope you’re happy wherever you are right now, that things are easier. But because I haven’t said all the things I should have, I’m gonna say them now._

_I want you to come back home._

_Whenever you’re ready, whenever you want to, please come back home. Even if you don’t want to see or speak to me when you do, you have a home here with people who love you. To be clear, I love you. I always have, and I still do._

_I’m not delusional enough to think that you’ve spent all this time waiting for me to say these things. But I really needed to say them. I’ve got so much more that I want to say in person, so if you want to come home and hear them, I’ll be here._

_Even if you never read this, at least I’ve made my confession. It’s my fault that I never got the chance to ask you to stay, but now at least I can ask you to come home._

_Please come back when you can._

_Love,_

_Sookie_

Sookie read it over about ten times. She worried that it was too forward, or too presumptuous. She couldn’t deny that a part of her hoped Eric would see this and come back to her, but she knew that wasn’t the likely scenario. It could really be over, forever, but she wouldn’t let the fear of that stop her from trying. She was going to learn from her mistakes, from now on.

She sent it.

The next day, she confessed everything to Tara, and she decided she needed to end things with Alcide. Even if Eric never came back, Sookie wasn’t really in the right mind to be in a relationship. Of course she was still in love with Eric, but it was more than that. She needed to grow; she needed to start to get over whatever emotional damage had been done in her relationship with Bill. Lafayette’s boyfriend Jesus even got her the name of a therapist, if she decided that she wanted to go see someone. Tara had pointed out that they’d both suffered some tragedies in their lives, and that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to have someone to talk to.

She really, really hoped that Eric’s departure, whether or not it was permanent, would be a turning point in her life.

 

* * * *

 

Eric was surprised, to say the least, when Sookie’s email popped up. He debated whether he should actually read it, but his curiosity won.

Other than surprised, Eric wasn’t really sure what he was feeling. He couldn’t help but feel a bit angry that it had taken his leaving for Sookie to realize that she shouldn’t have ended things, and that Bill Compton was a total fucking asshole. He felt sad at the reminder that he lost Nora, one of his oldest and dearest friends. He felt a sense of satisfaction reading that she still loved him. He’d hoped, of course, but it was nice to hear her say it, even if it was through the Internet.

He still loved her too, but he wasn’t sure what to do. Eric wasn’t one for games; he liked when people were straight with him. He was glad Sookie was finally being honest about her feelings, but he wasn’t sure he had it in him to relive any of it. He hoped by her email that she was done with Bill, but he was still weary. Bill had been a constant presence in their relationship, whether his actual physical presence or the crap that he had filled Sookie’s head with.

Eric wasn’t perfect, he knew that. He had, after all, started flirting with Sookie when she was still with Bill. He was willing to be the other man, at first, because he really really wanted her. Of course, that wasn’t something Sookie was willing to do. But as they actually got to know each other, as he fell in love with her, he wanted something that was just theirs. He wanted a real, grown up relationship, which was something he hadn’t really ever had.

Neither had Sookie, because her relationship with Bill had been… fucked up. She was obviously only starting to see it now, but Bill had treated her like an object. Like his property or something. He had controlled her, manipulated her into clinging to him, and then, after they broke up, had the fucking balls to tell her that Eric wasn’t capable of being a real partner, or giving her a real relationship. Hell, Bill had fucking cheated on Sookie with his ex-wife Lorena, and Sookie had been willing to overlook it.

He knew that Tara had always worried that Bill was emotionally abusive, and sometimes Eric wondered the same thing. Bill took advantage of Sookie’s naiveté and innocence, while trying to control what Eric loved most about her – her fire. She was fierce when she wanted to be. She was smart, too. Her Gran had raised an incredible woman, and he hated that a man like Bill had been constantly trying to change her.

But if Sookie was serious about trying for real this time? About breaking free from Bill, from her fear? Maybe they could really have a future together. He felt a swell of hope.

 

* * *

 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Pam shouted at Eric, through the screen of his computer. He wondered if he’d made a mistake in starting a Skype conversation with his sister. He’d told her that Sookie had sent him a message.

“She just wanted to apologize, Pam,” he sighed. It wasn’t the entire truth, but it was all he was willing to tell her.

“I hope so,” she scowled. “Yesterday at the bar she was still with that fucking oaf.”

Eric knew that Sookie was seeing Alcide, since he overheard a few conversations between Tara and Pam. But he also heard Tara say that she didn’t think Sookie really wanted to be with him, so Eric tried not to let it bother him. He had, of course, been with women in Sweden. Nothing serious, but it was nice to have someone to have some no-strings-attached fun with. He could hardly blame Sookie for wanting companionship.

“Pam, I don’t know what I’m doing, okay? So don’t give me any shit. I’m just trying to not fall apart right now.” He rubbed his forehead, feeling a sudden headache from their conversation.

“I know,” she said, quieter. “I just don’t want her to break your fucking heart again. After everything, you don’t need it.”

“Thanks, Pammy.”

They shifted their conversation, talking about the bar and how business had been going. When they logged off, Eric still wasn’t sure what to do about Sookie.

He didn’t know if they could be together again, but he knew that he couldn’t just say no. He didn’t want her to think he hadn’t read her email. He needed to send her something.

_Thank you, Sookie._  
 _\- E._

It was concise, he decided. He didn’t want to have email conversations about their relationship. That was something they should have in person, face to face.

 

* * *

 

Three months later, Eric was still not home. Sookie tried to stay as positive as she could, keeping the words Thank you, Sookie tucked away in her heart. He read the email, she chanted to herself, he read it.

While she waited patiently for a sign he was returning, Sookie tried to build a better life. She worked hard at Merlotte’s, she spent time with Tara and Lafayette, and she started seeing Dr. Claudine Crane. She’d gone to four sessions, where Claudine helped her tackle some of the ghosts of her past. Her parents’ death, her Uncle Bartlett, and even her Gran’s death were painful memories that she’d kept tucked away for so long, but she knew Claudine was helping her. They also talked a lot about her relationship with Bill, which helped her to move past the guilt and shame she had been feeling.

She’d made sure to avoid Eric’s bar, because she didn’t want to put any pressure on him. If he was home, she didn’t want to force him into any conversations. He would come to her when he was ready. At least, she hoped he would.

She was at Merlotte’s during the lunch rush, trying to clear a table when she knocked over a glass half full of iced tea.

“Darn it,” she muttered. She was busy wiping away the mess when she heard Sam call her name from his spot behind the bar.

“Sookie?”

“What, Sam, I’m clearin’ a table!” She shouted back, not bothering to look up from her work.

“Sookie, chère,” he called, his voice more urgent this time. She finally looked up, and dropped the cloth right on to the floor.

Eric.

Eric was standing at the bar, a small smile on his lips.

Sookie hesitated. He was obviously there for her if Sam called her over, right? She walked slowly towards him, and felt flushed under the weight of his gaze. He was watching her, scanning her. It had been a long time since they’d seen each other, but it really had felt like forever.

“Hi,” she said, wanting to jump into his arms and never let go. She stayed as still as she could, though.

“Hi,” he replied. “Do you think you can take a break?”

She tried not to laugh. She’d only been waiting for this moment for three months. She would quit her damn job just to get a few minutes with him, after all this time.

“Sam?” she asked, pleading with her eyes. He was grinning.

“Go ahead, chère,” he said. Sookie mouthed thanks and he nodded.

“Is it okay if we go outside?” Eric asked, leading her out.

“Sure,” she murmured, following him.

They walked in silence. Sookie wasn’t sure where to begin, so she let Eric take the lead. He stopped in front of his car, his cherry red Corvette. He sat on the hood, and Sookie did the same.

“I bet you missed her,” Sookie smiled, patting the car. It was his baby, after all.

“I did,” he laughed, looking down at her. Sookie loved how tall he was.

“And I bet Pam was happy to see you,” Sookie continued, not wanting any awkward silences.

“She’s just happy that I can do all the work at the bar again,” he teased, and Sookie laughed.

A beat passed.

“So, I came back,” Eric said quietly, looking out into the distance.

“I’m glad,” Sookie said just as quietly. “Did you… did you get what you needed while you were away?”

“It was a nice distraction,” he shrugged. “I travelled a bit, saw some family. Had some time to think.”

“Think about what?” Sookie breathed. This was it.

“What I want out of life. How short it is. Nora was so young,” he said, looking sad. He reached for Sookie’s hand, and Sookie felt her heart race. “I don’t want to waste my life, Sookie. With regrets, or fear, or grudges.” He gave her hand a gentle kiss. “I thought of dozens of reasons why I shouldn’t come home, or why I shouldn’t come see you. Why we should just both move on. But in the end, they didn’t seem all that important. After everything, we’re still… possible. I love you, and you love me. I’m hoping we can just figure the rest out.”

He looked down at her, and she was wiping tears from her eyes.

“That’s all I want,” Sookie nodded.

“Good,” Eric smiled.

He leaned in slowly, and Sookie swore that time stopped. It was a slow, gentle kiss, and it was everything that she had yearned for the past few months—for the past year, if she was honest with herself.

They sat quietly on the hood of Eric’s car for a few minutes, enjoying the peacefulness that had washed over them.

Their relationship wasn’t going to be perfect, and it wasn’t going to be easy. Sookie knew that. But she also knew that as long as they were together, they would be happy.

 

**Author's Note:**

> So this was my goodbye to TB. In my mind, and in my heart, Eric and Sookie end up together-- both on TB and in the SVM world. I had to write what I wish could happen, so that I could let go and say goodbye. 
> 
> Thanks to everyone in the TB fandom. It was a fun couple of years!


End file.
